Two days out: Heading to Atlanta

In two hours I leave for the airport, and in two days I donate a kidney to Howard.

Everyone has been asking me if I'm feeling scared. Until last night, the honest answer was no. I was a cauldron of emotions -- excited (with odds of 15%, it's like winning a lottery to get to be a donor), happy, a touch of nervous at the unknown, and mostly at peace. It sounds strange to say "at peace", but that's really the dominant feeling. I made my decision, and now I'm ready for it to happen. The last two weeks have been filled with paperwork (for leave), spirit-lifting conversations with friends and coworkers ("wow, that's incredible. you're a hero"), and running around trying to transition everything so I can take a quiet and uneventful 5 weeks off.

So that was until last night. Adrenalin took me through dinner and saying goodbye to neighbors. But when my head hit the pillow, it didn't sleep well. I can't even say that fears were running through my head (even though there are small risks, I am very confident and positive about the outcome). It just hit me, the enormity of what is to come. The easy part is over -- telling people. The hard part is about to start. I'm going to go from feeling 100% healthy to sick, and even though I know what others have gone through, my recovery will be unique. Will I be nauseous for a month? Will I lose weight (I have some to spare!) Will I be walking a mile by the end of the second week, or will I need a wheelchair at the airport when I fly home? I don't know yet, but I will very soon.

Today I fly to Atlanta and see David and Howard. It is going to be such an emotional reunion, filled with stakes that none of us could have imagined a few months ago.

I have learned so much about myself these past three weeks. I know how strong I am, and I know how positive I can be. I'm determined to fight through this and face anything head-on. Let's just get through the next three days, ok?